rockstar ronan who is mr sparkly eyesrockstar ronan who is mr sparkly eyes

rockstar ronan who is mr sparkly eyes28 May rockstar ronan who is mr sparkly eyes

You have a baby on the way. Alright little man. Please keep watching over Ben with the Bald Head for me. You would be so proud of the way they are killing it on the court. I finally got your daddy on the phone. This one has been in the works for a while but it is nothing I have been pursuing seriously. The ultimate sacrifice. A lot of time at home, which is still hard for me. Sometimes I feel like Im grasping at thin air, sometimes I get tired and so very sad, but I have never in my life wanted to give up or quit. So much has happened and so much is going on that I dont even know what to address first. I kind of miss my Ambien is the devil days. The picture came on the screen. She is doing amazing things with it. I live on, for you because I love you so much. First things first, Ronan. Do you think Im dying? My phone rang and so I did my thing. Ill check in with you later. I wonder if my never-ending tears are because of how much I miss you, or all of my hormones due to being pregnant or a combination of everything. They both cannot believe this. There is not a second of the day, that I do not miss you. Im up out of my sickness coma. Everything is different. I asked Stacy and Fernanda about it. Ronan. I was so happy. I hope you are safe. I just feel like a mama who will do whatever it takes to continue fighting on for her child. Thank you to all of my rad hometown babes who worked so hard to get this all done. Nothing helps. Macy. ! because thats what I totally felt like. Our super secret meeting required us leaving my house at the butt crack of dawn this morning and driving half way to L.A. a.k.a The Wigwam Resort in Litchfield Park, AZ. I then just said to Macy, Im not doing this for myself. Who am I kidding. I know the tears that will fill my eyes that I will have to fight back. Sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes it makes me smile, it always makes me miss you with everything that I am. Just because I am tired and sick does not mean I have to roll over and totally give into that, right?? Either way, I dont see myself leaving it anytime soon. Your Fairy RoMo just happened to be in town for this meeting. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry., Him: Stop saying youre sorry. 0 faves. I told her the Carolyn news. Does Ronan talk to you and tell you these things? I honestly think you do, Ronan. Thank you for all the Roideas today. I promise to be the best mama to her. Ive noticed myself starting to have a really hard lately. Missing but Ill never be able to find you. I read your blog every day and as a father your strength and love is simply amazing!! You were just so happy being home with all of us. If that wasnt enough to make me cry, the next thing was. I remember the 6 month mark being a really hard time for me. They are at practice now. Happy Birthday pic for our Mr. Sparkly Eyes. I love you. I hope you have a great day today filled with all of the simple things that matter. Ill admit it. Your picture is enough. I died when you died. I'm trying to get there as fast as I can. I let myself get lost in my baking. Im afraid this is the best it is going to get. I lived in this world. I don't have any idea who that is." I looked up at Mr. Sparkly Eyes, and yes, his eyes still sparkle. Ronan. It was the Ambien that knocked me into a black coma of oblivion, not the soothing words of everything is going to be alright that I needed to hear. I dont think you ever knew you were going to die, Ronan. She never slows down in my tummy and it always seems like she is having a party in there. Mascara and snot everywhere. So, lets keep watching and learning more Ronan. This book writing has left me not sleeping or eating well and may be part of the reason why I feel like Im no the verge of a breakdown. Its o.k. Im better. The MRI showed a mass behind Nela's eye and it turned out, Nela did not just have allergies. I did see my life flash before my very eyes a couple of days ago when I found myself in bed, on my 6th Cadbury Cream Egg, and watching The Kardashians. I had a moment of sheer panic wash over me as I thought to myself, Who am I?? No. She makes me be still and quiet in a way that is not forced. I still feel like I have post traumatic stress syndrome over the things we went through. I am so very sorry. For as much as I can say all I care about is a healthy baby, the truth is, a little girl would mean so much mainly for the fact that you wanted a baby sister. We are going to go to dinner when they get home. Ronan, do you want to know the one question I get asked, all the time? In a conference room full of people, alligator tears were uncontrollable. Are you o.k. How you would scream and cry and try to be brave, but you hated it so much. Im doing this for Ronan and Teddy because that is all that matters. I just made a choice to get back up and live the only way I know how to live now by fighting for you and all you were robbed of. I was mesmerized by her. Finally, late last night, I started to feel better. I was just happy to finish without injuring myself even more. Tomorrow will be better with my sidekick in tow to help out with my crisis which is actually not a crisis at all. Not crying. What do you mean, no more pictures of Baby Ro? Its early in the day around 5 a.m. I am up due to feeling sick to my stomach from this Poppy that grows in my belly. As soon as my name was called, I got up and asked if it was o.k. I know this but sometimes I like to close my eyes and just pretend. The most important thing of course that has been consuming me. I told you it was a word! Every year since you left when Mr. Sparkly Eyes' birthday rolls around, I always give him a card that I've made for him through my iPhoto with a picture of you on it. Forever friends because of the unthinkable bond that we share. "Ronan" was released on September 8, 2012, as a charity song by Taylor Swift. You deserved better, Ronan and I will forever be so sorry that after everything that we tried and did for you that it death was still the final outcome. You should not be sitting there. She obviously gets those from your daddy. I am awake now. They just handed me over a key, and voila! I am blaming it on my old age;) 34 feels a lot different from being pregnant at 25 and 29. Even on my darkest of days, when nobody knew what to do with me, they stood by me. Starting from before you diagnoses to the months after. Instead, I grabbed Rachel and took her with me. Everything seems heightened to the max. In bed? It was all I could do to stay in the restaurant and not flip the fuck out. We landed in a big city. He told me he thought I was being a little harsh. Whats going on? Sometimes the simplest words, say it all. I had forgotten about that story that happened while Woody and I were in a Nordstrom Rack in San Diego. I think I told you that I tried to prep, with Dr. JoRo about this whole getting pregnant thing. Everything around here is really calm and peaceful. I left her office, feeling tired and sad. I wont ever love the month of May again. with that. I choose to live in it. Im really sick and alone and nobody wants to take care of me., Mr. Sparkly Eyes: You are not alone. Today, was a really happy day full of never-ending tears. Dear lovely little blog readers. I miss you so much. You know I will always say yes to New York. From what I can see here, it looks like you are having a baby girl. Really? The ones in life that make you think about things from every different angle and dont want you just to take the easy way out. Bobby Eugene Nutt [1] (April 3, 1951 - June 8, 2017), better known by his ring name Ron Starr, was an American professional wrestler. I had visions of all the other angry people, right there with me. What I wouldnt give to have just one more second with you. I am angry and sad in a way that I havent been in a while and there is nothing that can make this pain go away or better. That my life without you is full of so much pain, sadness and hurt. 4 boys but there should have been 6. Its fluff and fluff does not work for me. I guess I wrote a lot about having another baby when you were still here. Sometimes all you need in life is a little Eddie Vedder to remind you of who you really are. I wiped my tears away and let him tell me it was going to be alright. I ended up waking up, and having a mini freak out session/panic attack which caused me to slam two Ambien and send some insane text messages to your Mr. Sparkly Eyes. This extreme fatigue and nausea, are mentally beating me down. Me: Do you think Ill ever stop being so sad?, Him: Darling. Pain. That is important to our family. Ill never forget all the pokies, we had to give you after your rounds of chemo. I was like a wild animal out of control. They had spent the last 4 days, selling cake pops and had made about $73 dollars. I dont know if I could handle this without Macy by my side. Ill fall asleep quickly as I have been doing so easily lately. The only ones I feel comfortable taking. In a way, I wanted that to be true but I know after tonight, that this wont ever be the case. I know we are and will change this world in a very big way but FUCK. I cannot wait for next year and I am so proud to call this place, home. Pediatic Cancer is about to get FUCKED! It was official. Its been a few days since Ive really cried and I guess Ive been holding a lot in by distracting myself and being so busy. on Not a life full of beauty but one full of beautiful momentsinstead, on From what I can see here, it looks like you are having a baby. I was in a world that I normally dont live in anymore. I thought that name sounded cute, so that is why. Thanks for learning this lesson and letting it make you a better person. How could my baby be just fucking dead? Ive been writing about your treatment, which has been hard. Taken on March 29, 2011. I know how much your heart is broken. I could describe him in a thousand different ways. The thought of that, put a smile on my face. We shall see, right Ro baby. But now we have an office! Sorry if that was TMI, but if youve ever carried a baby, you know what I am talking about. Im not even a nurse. Those moments mean so much to me. This will be your legacy, Ronan. THANK YOU. You know what comes next though. We talked about New York for a bit. They even have a COKE machine! Twenty freaking one. 2o minutes after taking that evil little pill and I was out cold. Him: Get home, o.k.? I knew where it was, but I had not touched it since you wore it on our last Halloween together. You have to be mentally and physically exhausted, sweetheart. Oh, and I saw Dr. Eshun again today. I came home and started whipping up the pies that I had promised your Mr. Sparkly Eyes. Its comforting to your daddy and brothers so this is why I stay here. I dont tolerate it. I sat at the TGen conference all day again today. I am tired of being tired and Im going to fight through this as hard as I can. I still think it is the most beautiful song that I have ever heard. So much so that I am wondering if Ill become a vegetarian after this. But then I see your Urn staring back at me and I am quickly reminded that it is and there is nothing I can do about it, to bring you back. My eyes started to tear up and I just said, Because I dont know where my child is. That is how I feel. This appointment just happened to fall on her birthday! I know this lesson they are learning in life and about your story will shape them in a way that they will go on to do amazing things. We shall see if I succeed this year. My days feel so sad and lonely without you here, and with me, being stuck at home because I am literally too tired to function. Miss you." AF says: July 28, 2011 at 5:59 AM.

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